When you’re interviewing for a role in private service — whether as a House Manager, Private Chef, Nanny, or Estate Manager — the expectations go beyond just showing up on time and shaking hands. Private households are highly personal, often fast-paced, and typically demand discretion, professionalism, and trust from day one.
Here’s how to set yourself apart and walk into your interview fully prepared and confident.
Understand the Role — and the Household
Start by digging deep into the job description. Look beyond the title — what are they really asking for? Are they a formal household that runs like a five-star hotel, or a laid-back family with young kids and pets?
If you’re applying through an agency, ask questions:
- What’s the family dynamic like?
- What does a typical day in this role look like?
- Is this a newly created position or a replacement?
Use this intel to align your talking points. If the role includes travel, speak to how you’ve handled logistics or packed principals for international trips. If the role is child-facing, offer examples of your experience with child development or tutoring.
Be Prepared to Discuss Confidentiality
In private service, trust is the currency — and discretion is expected at all times. Be ready to articulate how you’ve earned and maintained that trust in the past.
Share specific examples:
- How you handled sensitive personal information
- When you worked around high-profile guests or celebrities
- A time you caught something private or concerning and handled it quietly and professionally
You don’t need to name names — in fact, you shouldn’t — but showing that you understand and respect boundaries is key.
Sample phrase:
“In my previous role, I managed medical appointments and legal documents. The family trusted me with highly personal details, and I treated that responsibility with the utmost care.”
Show That You’re Thinking Long-Term
High turnover in a household creates instability. Clients want someone reliable who views the role as a career, not a stepping stone.
Come prepared to discuss:
- Why this role excites you
- What you’re looking for in your next long-term position
- How you’ve committed to previous roles over multiple years
Example to share:
“I spent six years with my last family, starting as a Housekeeper and eventually training and leading a team of three. I’m looking for that same kind of growth and stability.”
Even if you’re early in your career, expressing a desire for long-term commitment goes a long way.
Speak Clearly and Professionally
Communication isn’t just about being understood — it’s about how you make others feel when you speak. Your tone, pacing, and vocabulary reflect your professionalism.
Tips for improvement:
- Practice in the mirror or record yourself answering questions
- Replace slang or filler words with polished alternatives
- Smile — even on Zoom — to project warmth
In a high-end private home, your ability to communicate effectively with principals, vendors, and other staff members can make or break your success.
Use Real-Life Stories to Showcase Your Skills
Telling stories is the most memorable way to stand out. Use the STAR method (Situation, Task, Action, Result) to walk the interviewer through how you handled a real challenge or success.
Example:
Situation: The family was hosting a last-minute dinner party for 10.
Task: I needed to coordinate catering and valet with only 3 hours’ notice.
Action: I contacted our preferred vendors, adjusted the formal table settings, and ensured staff knew the timeline.
Result: The event ran smoothly, and the principals sent a thank-you note to the entire team.
Have at least 3–5 of these stories ready to go.
Know and Own Your Strengths
Private households are looking for specific expertise. Are you a master of multi-calendar scheduling? Do you thrive in team settings, or are you most effective as a self-starter?
Come ready with a confident summary of what you do best — and back it up with stories.
Good phrasing to use:
- “I’m known for being the calm in the storm.”
- “In my last role, I created a system for inventory that saved us thousands annually.”
- “My culinary background blends well with health-conscious, family-style meals.”
Don’t just list skills. Translate them into value.
Anticipate Household-Specific Questions
Private service interviews often include scenarios that test your practical problem-solving and understanding of etiquette. Be ready for questions like:
- “How would you handle it if the principal asked you to cancel your day off to accommodate guests?”
- “How do you integrate yourself into a new household without stepping on toes?”
- “A houseguest requests something outside your job description. What do you do?”
These aren’t gotcha questions — they’re about testing judgment, flexibility, and your commitment to service.
Tip: Practice answering 3–5 likely scenarios based on the job type.
Dress the Part — Always
Presentation matters, even in virtual interviews. A neat appearance, good posture, and eye contact all send the right message. In person, dress for the role:
- For formal homes: opt for business professional attire.
- For child-focused or more casual homes: choose something clean, neat, and approachable.
Bonus tip:
If you’re interviewing in person and will be around children or pets, wear something comfortable but professional — and avoid heavy perfumes or fragrances.
Ask Smart Questions (and Avoid the Obvious Ones)
Asking thoughtful questions shows maturity, curiosity, and professionalism. Avoid questions about pay or hours in the first round. Instead, focus on the role, the team, and the household culture.
Great questions include:
- “How do you define success in this role?”
- “What qualities have made past staff successful here?”
- “What are the family’s core values when it comes to household operations?”
These invite meaningful discussion — and subtly position you as a long-term thinker.
Show That You’re Both Service-Oriented and Human
Technical skills get you in the door. Emotional intelligence and personality keep you there.
Let the interviewer see that you’re not only polished and dependable, but also approachable and a good teammate. You’re someone they (or their family) would feel comfortable having in their personal space day after day.
Phrase to try:
“I believe in creating a calm, predictable atmosphere — and staying flexible when things shift.”
Smile. Use humor sparingly but naturally. And above all, be genuine.
Final Thoughts
Preparing for a private service interview isn’t just about polishing your resume — it’s about showcasing who you are as a professional, a team player, and a trusted presence in someone’s home.
By taking time to prepare thoughtful answers, real-life stories, and insightful questions, you’ll stand out from other candidates and make a lasting impression.
